Justin and Maleah Warner

2011-02-28T15:00:00.001-08:00

Attention Please!

This Homepage has moved.

Come visit my new location:

maleahwarner.com

See you there.

maleah

2010 Warner Christmas Video Card

2010-12-21T17:46:00.000-08:00

10 Things I Love in My Baby, but Not in My Man

2010-09-03T14:11:00.001-07:00

Top Ten Things
You Love About Your Baby,
but Hated About Your Old Boyfriend

1 His endless babbling

2 He loved snuggling in your bed--but always wanted to go back to his own crib after

3 His way of spending hours roaming around the house naked, his poochy belly hanging out

4 The wet, sloppy kisses

5 He was content to lie quietly and gaze at his navel as you did all the housework

6 His birthday gift to you was simply a wilted flower

7 His idea of dancing was to bend his legs and bob up and down with a goofy, self-congratulatory grin

8 His smell

9 You could always count on him burping right after he finished a meal

10 The fact that he'll never, ever love anyone as much as he loves his mommy

from Deborah Skolnik, Parenting, September 2010

To Do Today: Master Motherhood. Check.

2010-09-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

By 10:00 a.m. I have found my groove.

Productively I skim through the morning, one hand checking planned items off the To Do List:

* exercise
* wash sheets
* find Nathan's lost homework (still working on this one)
* clean out fridge

the other hand skillfully extinguishing unplanned life fires as they ignite around me:

* get Justin and his broken car off of freeway
* ask mom to pick up composter
* mend Zach's head and feelings
* ignore Michael asking "Is it time for school yyyeeet?"
* administer self-doubt about choosing afternoon kindergarten

With head-mended Zach and repetitively-annoying Michael at my feet, I polish the glass refrigerator pull-out shelves and even vacuum away the Trix cereal and dust bunnies from underneath - aaahhhh, the satisfaction of completing tasks that don't get done over the summer.

I return only non-biology experiments to the refrigerator shelves, starting from the bottom and working up. I breeze through my refrigerator organization - produce in the bottom drawer, tortillas and egg cartons next to lunch meat and cheese on the next shelf, followed by meats, then larger produce, then the leftover shelf.

I feel more skilled in the sport of housework today, like a well-trained Olympic housekeeping athlete, compared to my twenty-something counterpart, for whom fridge cleaning would have been a three-day marathon of exhausting proportion.

I mentally pat my own back for conquering this Everest called "motherhood" and think, gosh, I am good.

The top shelf of my fridge is reserved for cartons, tubs, jars, and syrup bottles, and it is here, at the peak, in the final sprinting lap of my kitchen-appliance-cleaning-event, that I recklessly stack a tottering tower of tubs - sour cream, cottage cheese, and yogurt. The unstable yogurt tub falters, leans, then tips--tumbling, toppling, flipping and landing, splat, between my white, New Balance walking shoes. The freshly polished refrigerator shelves, and all their pristine contents, have become a veritable soak zone for Shamu yogurt splash.

I'm sorry that you can't see a picture of the yogurt-dripping fridge; however, the puddles of peach yogurt pooled on my shoes prevented me from running to grab the camera, not to mention that faster than doughnuts disappear at a cub scout meeting, Zach was on his tummy, discovering the joy of finger painting.

So, I'll leave you with three things:

1). A picture of my twice-cleaned fridge.

2). A picture of the guilty culprit - the peach drips down the side were a dead giveaway.

3). And a confession of my humble realization: Motherhood is like humility - if you think you've got it mastered, you don't.

Now, I need to go grocery shopping for new food, the non-biology experiment kind.

Ciao.

maleah

Hiking Mt. Timpanogos

2010-08-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

Mt. Timanogos, Saturday, August 28, 2010

I'm SICK and TIRED of Getting No Appreciation

2010-08-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

No one appreciates what I do.

I had just gotten washed and polished when the call came for a Saturday morning work project. Of course, I was there, always available, and always taken for granted.

The photo below shows a wall consisting of 140 blocks,
each weighing 50 -60 pounds.
(The picture is dark because even the sun wasn't out of bed.)

I hauled ALL 7,000 pounds - yes folks, that is 3+ tons.

The same day, I moved the contents of two bedrooms
from Orem to Salem.

I have carried closet shelves, an office desk and credenza, one hundred pounds of compost -
the list could go on and on and on.

People assume that I should never break down, run out of gas,
or fail to be turned-on.

I may not appear as burly as my more masculine counterparts.
I don't get recognized for being brawny and buff.
I don't get the "tough guy" accolades.
I'm never the model chosen to splash and rumble down the muddy riverbank, speed to the height of a scenic cliff, or unload a dozen surfboards on a sandy, California beach.

But whether anyone acknowledges it or not,

I AM FORD TOUGH.

Never underestimate the power of a minivan.

Ain't Nothing like a County Fair

2010-08-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

Clam Bakes and County Fairs bring out the "ain't" in me.
There really ain't nothing like a fair.
I love it all!

The music - think senior citizen barbershop quartet and the local high school jazz band.

The food - cotton candy, popcorn, greasy corn dogs, and snow cones.

The Exhibits - 4 H, hand crocheted purses, quilts, and bottled fruit.

The vendors - turquoise jewelery, homemade hair bows, wood burned clocks and booths advertising amway, melaleuca, or Mary Kay.

The carnival - motion sickness-causing rides, throw-up puddles on the pavement, overpriced games, and carnival workers.

and

The animals - pigs, pigeons, chickens, guinea pigs, sheep, cows and the Grand Champion Bull (always reminds me of our own Mr. Beef.)

The sticky feet - all the goo you bring home on your shoe.

Kids, "Mom, the sign says you're not suppose to touch the animals."
Me, "I can't help myself."

The old country atmosphere of a fair sucks the responsible parenting brain right out of my head. I let Zach get his finger bitten by a rooster (and a beautiful poultry he was) and wandered, hypnotized, for ten minutes through the exhibits before realizing that I was alone and had no knowledge of my offspring's whereabouts.

We didn't stay for the rodeo, maybe next year.

The American Fork Hillbillies

2010-08-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Folks,

there ain't nuttin' like a hillbilly clam bake ta make yer stomach churn.

Sorry ta all ya dumplins who just luuuvvv slurpin' down boiled clams.

I have a purty strong stomach (used ta eat yogurt during cadaver lab, smell o' formaldehyde n'all) but I opened my clam n' saw somethin' that looked like it'd been hucked outta my throat, and t'weren't no way I was puttin' it back down.The boiled corn, carrots, and tator's were good grubbin', not mindin' that all the youngins had just rummaged their muddy, mangy hands through the pile, and that you was gunna pick fennel seed from 'tween yer teeth fer awhile.

Course, nuttin beats the company of yer own ward kinfolk ta make yer insides feel all bubbly.

And nuttin' beats watchin' ol' Bis n Ric a warshin' the pots-- least, accordin' to thar Mrs's.

We's all know what yer meanin' thar youngins'.

This here's a face o' sweetie pie.

GOOD TIMES!

Yuummmm! Corn on the Cob!

2010-08-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

Enough said.

Introducing: Our New Riding Lawn Mower

2010-08-07T19:15:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,
The story you are about to read is true;
only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Last Friday night, about 1:30 a.m. (that makes it early Saturday morning), Jaston and Mallah were tossing and turning, having a fitful time falling asleep in the muggy, hot night air. At last, they opened the door between the master bedroom and backyard deck, hoping to circulate a breeze of cooler air.

Rustle, rustle.

"Did you hear that?" Jaston sat bolt upright in bed.

Mallah rolled her eyes remembering how five nights previous, Jaston had searched the entire house and yard for an imaginary raccoon he heard scratching at the screen door.

She fluffed her pillow and rolled over, rather annoyed, until Jaston, peering through the screen door into the darkness said, "Did you forget to close the gate?"

The gate guards the boundary between Warnerdale and WildFieldVille.

"Ummmmmmm........" said Mallah.

"I think there's a horse in our yard," said Jaston dashing out the front door to sneak up on the creature from behind.

Mallah jumped out of bed, moving with impressive alertness now, and peered into the darkness. Indeed, a dark, horse-shaped shadow lumbered in the back yard. Knowing this particular horse to be wild and unbroken, Mallah raced to the front yard, dressed in only her underwear (don't visualize, please) and shouted to Jaston, "Wait, don't spook him or he'll stampede around the other side of the house."

To which Jaston most patiently replied, "I'll stay here, my love dumpling, while you go put on some clothes; I can scan the night sky for August constellations while I wait - I think Orion is bright this time of year."

Mallah reappeared moments later, dressed in jeans, still tight and wet from the laundry, and a ten-year-old girl's shirt that was mistakenly hung in her closet.

She tiptoed tentatively around the house and scanned the dark yard for lumpy, horse-shaped shadows. She anticipated being knocked to the ground at any moment by a flash of hooves reigning down upon her, accompanied by wild neighing.

Nothing.

No horse. No Jaston.

Heart palpitating, she rounded the corner of the house, certain that the unbroken horse had trampled her beloved and was at that very moment running wildly through the neighborhood, tearing up rose bushes, smashing toddlers' bicycles, and stamping horseshoe prints into prized flower beds, all because she had left the gate ajar - the protective boundary between their peaceful, well-kept neighborhood and the wild frontier.

Then she spotted them, well-hidden under the shadow of a tree, where the savage beast was grazing lazily under the comfort of Jaston's petting hands.

This most docile wild-beast was feasting heartily on thick, lush, green and uncut grass - a treat of which he had been deprived for months in his home of dried-out weeds and thistle.

Here are actual pictures of Jaston and the horse (if neither are looking like their usual well-groomed selves, remember, it is early Saturday morning.)

(Treats for being a good wild-horse and not stampeding the neighborhood.)

After savage-horse was safely locked away, Jaston and Mallah returned to their master suite, finally drifting to peaceful sleep.

The following morning they awoke, certain they had both shared the same, strange dream until
on the road in front of their house they found...horse biscuits, and in their neighbor's yard... horse-shoe prints, and in their garden...headless stalks of corn.

Now, lest you, the reader, hastily place guilt on the person who left the gate ajar, at deeper consideration, it is plainly clear that the actual guilt belongs to the person who left such luscious, tempting, long-green grass un-mowed.

And the moral of the story is: never fall asleep in only your underwear.

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #1 Friends in Low Places

2010-07-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

Here it is....
The long awaited
(phew! does this mean the wedding blogging is finally over?)
number one favorite moment from my sister's wedding.

Moments like these are why the internet was invented.

Bonus Feature

2010-07-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

Here's a bite-size bit of fun we didn't see at the wedding dinner. Hope it gives all you people who are homesick for Donnalee (mom...Nathan....me....anyone else?) a bit of of a Donnalee fix.

Still coming soon: Top Ten Wedding Moments Number One!!!!
(So exciting...)

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #2 My Family

2010-07-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

Truth is, at age nine, I usually annoyed, tattled on, or ran away from these people.
Now I actually love being with them. Go figure.

But, pray tell, what is up with the jazz hands?
Is this a wedding line or a Rockettes routine?
And honestly, this is so un-bridely.
(Little bro looks good in white.)
Someone needs Crest white strips.

Here's the whole Day clan. Not bad for ten hayseeds from the hicks.
Shout out to Kevin - love you buddy.

So happy for ya, li'l sis.
(You can't really tell I just bawled through the entire ceremony.)

Love you goofballs. m

Coming soon - the long-anticipated, ultra-exciting, drum roll, please...
Top Ten Favorite Wedding Memories Numero Uno.
If it's not my family.....what could it possibly be???

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #2 1/2 Thumbs Up!

2010-06-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

Time to finish up the top ten favorite wedding memories
(before the weds are no longer newly).

Since I only have two left, I'm creating a 2.5

Here is the Day family in its mass and entirety.Now,
on closer inspection
it becomes evident that
someone,
other than the bride and groom,
believes he is the star of the show
(or at least the star of this photograph).

Who's kid is that anyway?
And where did he learn to cross his legs?

Images of Memorial Day

2010-05-31T21:19:00.001-07:00

Memorial Day is:

Flag-lined streets.

Family barbeques with potato and macaroni salads and the dessert Grandma always made.

Mums at the cemetery.

Second-cousins who play like best friends all day, but never learn each others' first names.

Wishing I'd paid attention to the people at family reunions who were alive when I was five, but who all starred in their own funerals before I understood the value of their stories.

Marianne Winward Day at 2718 N. 4000 W. Dayton, ID.
Marianne moved into this home at three-weeks-old and shared one bedroom with five sisters and one bathroom with parents and all twelve siblings before she moved out to attend college in Logan. This was an old wood house when Thane and Evelyn Winward bought it. They added the red brick. Grandpa Thane's chicken coop, dairy barn, and shed are still there.

Grandpa Thane and Grandma Evelyn Winward, Whitney, ID cemetery.

Great-Grandpa Bertie William Winward, Sr. and
Great-Grandma Lula Dalley Winward, Whitney, ID Cemetery.

Great-Great-Grandpa John William Winward, Jr. and
Great-Great-Grandma Catharine Hunsaker Winward,
Whitney, ID Cemetery

Pres. Ezra Taft Benson and Flora Benson, Whitney, ID Cemetery
(Pres. Benson was born in Whitney and was my Grandpa Thane's scout master).

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #3 The Reluctant Groom

2010-05-27T17:47:00.000-07:00

Let's get the meaning of the title straight right off the bat.

The Reluctant Groom, not as in reluctant to be a groom, but reluctant to be a groom.

Got it? Good.

In other words:

Not reluctant to be married,

but reluctant to star in the role of groom:

Enduring things like:

Posing for all 1,000,000,0000,0000,000000000000000 pictures,mandatory p.d.a. and kissing on demand,Thousands of swarming people overflowing with gushiness and nauseating cheer,
an eternity (one day) of highly planned, highly decorated, highly complicated festivities,
Heavy lifting (the dress, the dress, I mean the dress)

and not wearing Carhartts for twenty-four hours.
James Bond himself has never endured such a grueling mission.

The anguish is evident.

I'm hearing Oscar buzz that Tucker may be nominated for the best non-acting award.
We can't tell, Tucker, how do you really feel?

My prediction:
Tucker's non-love for the wedding hoopla
will be the memory that makes my sister both laugh and cry.
Donnalee, welcome to sharing your life with a man.

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #4 The Flower Girls and Page Boys

2010-05-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

Beware, if you have an aversion to pictures of darling children,
DO NOT READ FURTHER.

This blog entry is full of pictures like this:

and this

and even this

and especially this:

I could go on and on and on.....

My #4 favorite wedding memory is the cute flower girls and
ring boys (or page boys or junior groomsmen or whatever you want to call them).

Let me explain that my newest brother-in-law
(who is the oldest of seven kids with no nieces or nephews),
marrying my baby sister
(who is the youngest of eight siblings with 22 nieces and nephews),
felt like the old woman had spilled her shoe all over his wedding suit.

As the newlyweds exited the temple, all twenty-two black and white coordinating flowers girls and ring boys converged on the new bride, their favorite aunt.
Tucker was squooshed to the outer-boundaries of adoring
Aunt Donnalee fans
as she hugged and called each one by name.
"Where's Carson? I haven't hugged Carson yet."

Many brides can't remember their own names on their wedding day.
Only a true favorite aunt could remember which
of twenty-two suffocating youngins she hadn't yet touched.

With reckless disregard for the white dress, the up-do, or the bouquet, she scopped up the wiggly, sticky-faced, new-teeth-cutting, drooling babies, Jaxson and Zachary.

T. got some love, too.
How about a sucker punch to the gut, Uncle Tucker?

The paparazzi of minors shadowed the couple wherever they went. They were never alone.
They chauffeured flower girls in their car to their reception
and sat babies on their laps at lunch.
But look at the whole adorable bunch.
Who could resist?
No one.

"The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi"

2010-05-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

For ninety-nine years, men of the Sigma Chi have serenaded their loves with this song, first penned by Stokes and Vernor in 1911.
Now, almost a century later, my li'l sis is "a sweetheart of Sigma Chi."

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #5 The Groomsmen

2010-05-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Look how effortlessly these guys do "GQ"

You'd think that they practice at home.

Hey, boys.

Do you...
practice at home?
In front of the mirror?
Check your breath and strike a pose?

Because, you look

well
practiced.

Check out the video [newer posts] to see these hunks serenade
Donnalee, "The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi."
Too bad I don't have any more single sisters!

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #6 The Rain: Every Bride Should Have an Umbrella

2010-05-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

What's more whimsical and romantic than
two lovers under an umbrella,
especially on their wedding day?

Nothing.

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #7 The Tulips of Temple Square

2010-05-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

Donnalee has always hoped to get married in the
Salt Lake Temple when the tulips are in bloom.
Hooray! I love when wishes come true.

Now,
I could have posted all
the other
pictures showing
two-lips
on temple square.

Aren't we glad I didn't?

YES.

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #8 Tucker Morgan had a Dozen Boys

2010-05-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

According to Samuel Tucker, he and Donnalee will have 14 sons,
and their names will be:

1. Frodo
2. Rambo
3. Rocky
4. MacGyver
5. William Wallace
6. Maximus
7. King Arthur
8. Luke
9. Han
10. Chewy
11. Indiana
12. Jones
13. James
and
14. Bond

Let's see those future family pictures.

Yeah, like.....he's ready.

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #9 My Sister's Shoes

2010-05-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

Before the day was over, the happy bride had dug herself into a hole.
Really, I'm not kidding about this.
See those heels?
Throughout her reception, she unknowingly continued stamping her dress deeper and deeper into a hot-pink-heel-dug ditch in the rain-soaked grass. Before they could leave, Mr. Groom had to dig out about five inches of muddy wedding dress.

God's Disneyland

2010-05-11T18:43:00.001-07:00

I should have known that Walt's inspiration for a fantasyland where parents and kids could play together came from a higher source. Goblin Valley is God's Disneyland. But in the Valley of Goblins it's the rocks rather than the shrubs that are carved as life-like representations of various things.

For example:

A garden gnome village

Thumbs Up
A 747 Jet Passenger Plane
The Prince of India relaxing on the Taj Mahal

The children of Israel lost in the wilderness for forty minutes
Signs of intelligent life on earth
(referring to the figure above, not below)

A mini-van with a flat tire

A mom who cleaned up barf in the tent at 4:00 a.m.,
and a baby who about got voted out of camp
for screaming loud enough to wake the goblins.

Aside from the flat tire, tent barf, and baby screaming, we had a GREAT time in Goblin Valley - one of my favorite camping trips to date. And unlike our trip to the other Disneyland, the kids never once cried, "We want to go back to the hotel."

Hooray for Birthdays!

2010-05-09T20:49:00.001-07:00

We've been celebrating Zachary's 1st birthday over several weeks. These pictures were taken when Arizona Aunt Daniece was in town for THE wedding.

On Zach's
true birthday, Friday, May 7th, we celebrated with campfire cupcakes in the San Rafael Swell, where we camped under Alice the Camel's watchful care.

(More about our trip to Goblin Valley tomorrow.)

(And, just in case you're worried, I'm not done talking about
THE wedding.)

Top 10 Favorite Wedding Moments: #10 The Blood Transfusion

2010-05-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

The Dr's Day perform an emergency blood transfusion on the groom.
Out with the Ute RED and in with the Cougar BLUE.

You've heard of doctors leaving a sponge, but a nightie???.....

Let's see a closeup of Lavon's face when the nightie is revealed.

Good Times.

You Can Wear Your Cake and Eat It Too

2010-05-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

Click the arrow button in the lower right corner to
view the video full screen. It's worth it.

Has there ever been a more beautiful bride?

2010-05-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

Congratulations Donnalee and Tucker, May 1, 2010

Seeing Spots

2010-03-12T12:30:00.001-08:00

The other night I stayed awake past my curfew painting white polka dots onto baskets, flower pots, picture frames, and even onto clothespins.

Because cutie-pie li'l sis L-O-V-E-S polka dots.

Her cutie-pie fiance....not so much.

So if there are polka dots at the wedding reception, they will be subtle, possibly unnoticeable, except by those of us who will know-tice.

But at her bridal shower, "LET THERE BE DOTS!"

Solitary Prayer

2010-03-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

My sister went to the temple for her first time on Saturday. I listened to the temple matron instructing her about the meaning of the temple and I thought, "The temple is my prayer sanctuary."

Prayer at home is generally

interrupted

by door pounding

alerting me to injury, death by hunger, spilled grape juice, or the injustice of abandonment.

You know that hymn, Sweet Hour of Prayer?

Where does a mother get a sweet hour for prayer? I'd like five solitary minutes.

But in the temple, I can pray. And pray. And pray. From the minute I step inside the doors, until the cold air of the world again touches my skin.

There is nothing like praying in the temple.

God says, "Come in. Sit down. Tell me everything."

And I do.

And sometimes He talks back. Mostly, He is just there, listening and loving me.

Hereford Heaven

2010-03-08T12:39:00.000-08:00

Saturday I tagged along little sis and her fiance for their engagement photo shoot at the Morgan Family Farm. I served as videographer, fly-away hair control, and lip gloss holder.

I arrived an hour late after missing the exit and making a full circle Tour d'Utah.

Why is the South Ogden exit actually south of Kaysville, I mean, shouldn't it be south of Ogden?

Yes, I grew up in Utah - rural Utah. And driving a tractor down main street in Castle Dale is different than navigating I-15. I know my way around North Salt Lake like I know my way around Victoria's Secret.

There are farms in Layton! Who knew? I thought the cities surrounding Lagoon were metropolis-style big cities.

So my sis and fiance were darling,

but

the best part of the day was that two Hereford moms birthed healthy, black-faced calves while we were there!

I did not take one photo of my sister.

But the Hereford crew caught my lense.

Work it girls!

Now, that's a Kodak moment.

The Six Minute Blog

2010-03-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

I have to post a blog so that I can get Edward Cullen's mug off the front page.

And I have six minutes to finish.

Today I am living in six minute increments.

Why?

Because one DVD's takes six minutes to burn. And if I get a new one in exactly as one is finished, then I will get all sixty five burned in only six hours.

And what I have learned is that mothering is a six minute increment kind of job.

What I do in a six minute interval:

Feed baby cereal (2 DVD's)
Wash a sink of dishes.
Sort laundry (2 DVD's)
Transfer wash to dryer and fold one laundry load.
Put chicken nuggets in oven and curl sister's hair for engagement pictures. (about 4 DVD's - lost track because we were gossiping to rival Beauty Shop)
Nurse Baby (first half or right boobie)
Nurse Baby (second half or left.. you know)
Order children to clean downstairs
Print bridal shower invitations

What took me the longest duration of time?

Email (burned 5 DVD's before finishing)
Washing my face/getting ready for bed (four DVD's)

And this post is incomplete and rather imperfect
but I must move on to the next task
and such is the life of a six minute woman.

Straight Faces of the New Moon

2010-03-01T10:48:00.000-08:00

I have to say it.

This weekend I went to the theater and saw the thrilling, worldwide phenomenon, New Moon. You know, the irresistible, second thrilling saga of the Twilight series.

Of course you know. Everyone knows, except for maybe my father-in-law who kept watching the November night skies for the new moon everyone was talking about.

Yes, I am aware that New Moon arrives on DVD in like two weeks, and you can pre-order the DVD at any Blockbuster, Walmart, grocery store, post office, hospital emergency room, gym, bank, UPS Store, or daycare. So, I'm a little behind.

Everyone in the theater had already seen the movie at least thirteen times (except for maybe the slumber party of seven year old girls on the row in front of me). I could tell from the way the audience spoke all of the lines before the characters did and occasionally acted out scenes in the aisle.

I don't know if I got an unbiased New Moon experience. I mean, it was a little hard to take the movie seriously when the audience erupted into laughter at a slower-than-slow motion vampire Bella, in her frolicy sun dress, running with Edward through the grassy meadow (see photo above). And even I could not keep a straight face when a mega-slow motion Edward struts with unbuttoned oxford blowing in the wind through the parking lot of Forks High School (see photo above).

By the way, I did not take J. with me. Husbands, you can be jealous or angry. Go ahead. You have the right.

"Beam Me Up, Brian."

2010-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

This weekend my twelve year old traveled to space, the final frontier, in a Star Trek-like simulation at the Christa McAuliffe Space Education Center in Pleasant Grove.

Saturday I pulled up to the Federation Base (Central Elementary) to pick up my sugar-overloaded fifth grade cargo and transport them home in an intergalatic mini-van.

Before getting clearance for departure, I received a complete tour of the space ships Odyssey, Phoenix and Magellan. I saw the captain's chair, the engineer's station, and the computer where my own junior lieutenant worked as a sensor, detecting and alerting the crew to potential enemy ships, dangerous floating space debris, or collisions with unchartered planets.

I got every microscopic detail of the two-day mission and how their seven member crew was the first to ever successfully complete the Ghost Ship Mission without getting blown up - not even once.

Congratulations.

So I had to ask,

"Lieutenant, junior, sensor, sir, how many times did you hear, 'Beam me up, Scottie' this weekend?"

He said, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

What?!! A Star Trek simulation with no "Beam me up, Scottie"?

When did that phrase get lost?

I haven't really kept up with Stark Episodes since Star Trek the Next Generation, but I fully assumed that "Beam me up" was a standard fixture in any Star Trek spin-off.

So I guess they still "transport," but is "beam me up" out for good?

I just don't know.

I mean, how good does, "Transport me, Brian" really sound?

Breath of Fresh Air

2010-02-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

I must be in a weekend movie mood - what seven months without t.v. will do for ya.

I loved Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium. I loved this movie so much that I tried to write to Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman to thank them, both hotlist hollywood stars, for acting in a lesser-known movie. As I am not experienced in how to be part of a hotlist hollywood star's fan club, I never found how to send mail to either of them. So I will thank them publically here. (I knew this blog would come in handy).

Thank you, Mr Hoffman and Miss Portman, as I am certain that you are both reading this blog. Thank you for contributing your marvelous acting talents to a creative, imaginative, colorful, perfectly immaculate film. It was pure pleasure to watch Mr. Magorium. I believe I will watch it again.

yours,
Maleah

Resilience

2010-02-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

I don't get cash or free tickets for plugging a movie. But if you missed, The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio like I did when it first came out, and you're in the mood for a great movie about resilience, this movie is worth watching.

Merriam-Webster says that resilience is:
1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress (does that describe pregnancy & childbirth or WHAT?!)
2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

Of all the character tools I could pack if my life suitcase, resilience would be at the top of the list.

Finding the Updo that says "I Do"

2010-02-24T21:22:00.001-08:00

Today my cutie-pie little sister and I explored the perfect hairdo for saying "I do".

While the (equally-as-cutie-pie) groom-to-be can't fathom doing anything other than waking up and combing your hair, just like you do every other day of the year, we women understand that a bride can't be expected to properly celebrate her wedding day without a coiffure that matches the measure of her unequivocal "I DO."

If the hair ain't right, ain't nothing else right.

Broccoli Teeth, Cheerio Head

2010-02-23T18:48:00.000-08:00

I wholeheartedly believe that if someone has broccoli in their teeth, a booger in their nose, or a "kick-me" sign on their back, that the polite gesture is to inform them honestly.

So what if a baby has a cheerio pasted to his head with rice cereal?

Zach, you've uh got a little something...

Tour de Baking

2010-02-22T19:43:00.000-08:00

I was asked to supply three dozen homemade rolls for a church social.

Baking rolls to serve women in my neighborhood (who have been baking since before yeast was invented) is like asking, "Would you go for a bike ride with Lance Armstrong?"

Here enters Connie Jo, my college roommate, who in one afternoon of bread-making lessons took me from baked rock loaves to blue-ribbon at the Utah Country Fair! So there!

Tour de France? Bring it ON!

A Dose of Inspiration

2010-02-21T20:55:00.000-08:00

Need a little "pick-me-up"?

I always love to "youtube" a little Mormon Tabernacle Choir when I'm feeling blaaahhh. Love this and "How Firm a Foundation." So good for what ails you.

Celebrating Twenty Years Since the ACT??!?!?!!

2010-02-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

Early this Saturday morning, I drove Brittany to a Highland school. Armed with water, snacks, a no. 2 pencil, and motherly must-be-said's (like "read the questions carefully" and "just put what you think is the right answer"), Brittany butterfly-stomached into the testing room.

I don't know why, but I felt reminded of taking the ACT test my junior year in high school.

Five hours later, with a burned-out brain, Britt climbed back into the minivan, relieved that they skipped over the spelling portion of the test. The test went fine, she said, except for the math problems she hadn't learned yet.

And I wondered:

If I took the ACT test today, would my score come in higher or lower than my almost twenty years ago score?

Would my reading comprehension be stronger?

Would I interpret charts, graphs, and maps better?

Do I know more about physical science today than I did as a junior in high school?

If I held my high school brain up against my current brain, would one be smarter?

My current brain would be more experienced, yes. But I swear I've left large chunks of this noggin in the hospital delivery room with each child. Bring home a baby, gotta leave a chunk of brain.

My high school brain, though way more naive, was at least trained for coloring in circles on a bubble sheet. Do they still use bubble sheets?

One thing I do know...

Without spell check, I would pray to skip the spelling section as well.

And since I can no longer remember how to compute the circumference of a circle (is it 2r+pie or 2d x pie or is it r2d2???)

I would fail the geometry.

p.s. (- and how do you access the pie symbol on blogspot? )

POST SCRIPT Sunday, Feb 21, 2010
I awoke this morning in a panic that the cyberworld was laughing at me for spelling out pie like a fruit-filled pastry instead of pi like the greek word for perimeter. Duh. Everybody knows that. My ACT score just dropped by two points at least.

Watching Eagles

2010-02-19T16:27:00.000-08:00

On President's Day we watched two eagles perched together
in a tree east of Park City near Kamas.

J and the kids spotted this beauty west of Utah Lake by Fairfield on February 6, 2010.

At this time, Justin would like me to stress the point that if he had a bigger camera lense - a lense which costs twice as much as the actual camera- we would have some extremely jaw-dropping close-ups of these eagles to post.
But we don't.

So please squint.

However, we do have a well-spoken scripture, from Isaiah:

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

Should Booby-Biting Babies get the Bottle?

2010-02-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

The problem with baby teeth is that they are razor sharp.

I have never breast-fed past the first two teeth.

And I ask myself,

"Self. Do other women's babies not bite, or do they have breasts of steel?"

I don't know.

But every time he does the bite and pull, I swear he is going to get the bottle.

Then I have a morning like this morning when he cuddles up to me in bed and nurses like a sweet little baby should. And I think, "We'll try again for one more day."

All I Want for Valentine's Day is --- a Cow!

2010-02-16T19:13:00.000-08:00

February 14, 2010. I defrosted a couple of sirloin and ribeye steaks for a special Warner Family Valentine's Dinner.

And I remembered

two years ago,

when all I wanted for Valentine's Day was

a cow.

It happened something like this.

My j babe was working in Utah. The kids and I were finishing the school year in Arizona.

J flew in to AZ, and we went out to eat for Valentine's Day. You know, at the kind of restaurant where a tuxedo-clad man "waits" to scrape away the crumbs he knows you will spill on the laundered table cloth.

We ordered steak.

Over the tomato bisque, I looked intently into j's face.

"I have something I need to tell you," I said.

Mind you, we'd been apart for several months with only skype and online checkers to keep us connected.

"When we move to Utah, there is one thing I really want." I was still trying to decide how to ease him into the shock of my confession.

"I've thought about this a lot. I know it's a big life choice, and I'm really serious. I want to have a cow."

I didn't mean "have a cow" like "have a conniption fit".

I was talking about the four-legged, rawhide-covered, milk-bearing, horn-growing, moo-speaking, Warner-brand-wearing animal.

I was completely serious and completely committed to the daily
milking,
graining,
muck-chucking
responsibility that comes complete with cow.
After all, is there any better way to guarantee that children grow into hard-working, early-rising adults than by forcing them to awake and milk a cow each morning? No. I was determined and I spoke my Valentine's wish with 100% heart-filled conviction.

The Universe will answer your 100% heart-filled convictions.

We moved to Utah. I got my cow.

But maybe not in the exact form you imagined.

Cow has not been living in our barn, or in our field, or even living at all.

Cow (all 973 pounds of her) is butchered, packaged, frozen and stored in a Kenmore upright freezer purchased especially for her.

Sorry to you vegetarians.

She is delicious.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Video of Zachary Warner

2010-02-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

Love this from Pres. Uchtdorf

2010-01-03T19:16:00.000-08:00

So Inspiring.

Lavon Day Family Memories 2008

2010-01-03T18:59:00.001-08:00

This is a 24 minutes Video Scrapbook of Lavon Day family gatherings in 2008. Good times. maleah

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-24T07:07:00.000-08:00

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas.

Intro to the Family

2008-09-07T21:20:00.001-07:00

Well here we are...or I guess here we were. This picture was taken in December of 2007. This is the most up to date picture of the whole family. After living in Arizona, we all had a hard time adjusting to the cold weather as indicated in the faces. We are very glad to be back in Utah as we have really enjoyed being close to family.

Entering the Blogosphere

2008-09-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

Well, although I feel Maleah and I are pretty computer savvy, the social networking bit has not been top on our priority list. So not to be left in the dust completely, we are finally starting our blog. Wow this is a big day. So all the family can now "link" us up. I will attempt to post pictures of our wonderful children, and my beautiful wife. Fortunately, for all of us, I am generally behind the camera so pictures of me are few and far between. I hope as we get linked up that you will feel free to shoot us an email or a comment any time.